Welcome To The History Of Booji . . .
the exhibits in the following rooms document Bo's and Bailin's extensive
research into where we came from and what our universe consists of.
Before we begin our actual tour, let me introduce
you to some information concerning Booji's existence in prehistoric times:
Cave paintings found off the
coast of Costa Rica dating back 65 million years indicate a bucket and
a cryo tube. Writings translated from the Dead Ocean Scrolls (DOS)
have revealed the following:
"In the millenia that follow with the many
wars that will take place on this planet Terra, there will rise up a new
king who will have been deceased, having given his life for a noble cause,
who upon serving his time in a great frozen age, will take up his mighty
pike and bucket to save those followers who are faithful to him and who
believe in the way of the Rangers. Beware the Anti-Booji who will
come in many forms in the age of world-wide electronic communication.
The Anti-Booji disciples, known as Suits, shall be known by their polyester,
their greedy ways and their claws. There will be a new Temple built
unto Booji, the one in Vorlon Home World having been abandoned. This
new Temple shall rise up from a planetoid in Markab space where Booji will
himself reside, protecting over the followers. All those who have
suffered the trials of the Suits and who live true to their extended hails,
will be given a new life in the Temple of Booji."
"In the beginning, the Vorlons created their
portion of the universe. Their God Booji looked down upon their universe
and declared it was good. Booji proclaimed, "Let there be light."
Verily a light switch was installed in the Temple so that Booji could read
at night. Thus ended the first day and night.
Then Booji proclaimed he was lonely.
"Let there be followers." Verily followers were created in many forms
throughout the universe. Booji smiled and it was good. Thus
ended the second day and night.
Then Booji became concerned about the protection
of the followers against Suits. "Let there be Rangers." Rangers
were trained and Booji proclaimed that all was good. Thus ended the
third day and night.
Booji became hungry. "Let there be
M&M's and Oreos." Those of the Vorlons who knew how to cook created
them per his command. Booji, who was too full to proclaim anything,
fell asleep on the Temple couch. Thus ended the fourth day and night.
Then Booji awoke, thirsty. "Let there
be frappuccinos, a multitude of tea and an endless variety of soda pop."
Those Vorlons who had connections with beverage distributors complied with
his command. Booji's thirst was quenched and he proclaimed it to
be very tasty. Thus ended the fifth day and night.
Then Booji foresaw a vision of the future
wherein he would be resurrected in the form of one of his best Rangers.
Thus he commanded a cryo tube be constructed. The cryo tube was constructed
and Booji proclaimed it to be in accordance with the American Medical Association.
Thus ended the sixth day and night.
On the seventh day, Booji saw that the Vorlons
had a made a mess in the holy Temple while partying with the Shadows.
Booji was tired from six days and nights of working. Booji's intentions
were good. Booji lifted up the holy bucket intending to clean up
the holy Temple, but in his exhaustion, fell back on the holy couch, the
bucket landing squarely on his holy head. Thus ended the seventh
day and night.
On the eighth day, the holy photographers
from Universe Today published pictures of Booji with the bucket on his
head and now he is to be known by that image to all species of the universe.
"In the final days, I beheld a great rotating
piece of metal in the sky, protected by a great machine from inside the
rock. Inside this rotating piece of metal were species from far away
places. Inside this rotating piece of metal were great wonders to
behold! Great tablets of information were reduced to tiny little
see through rocks which when placed in a hole of another machine, would
give continuous streams of images and sound in such a way that would be
like real face to face communication.
I beheld a device called a *computer* with
a long strand that connected to a wall and through this strand in invisible
waves could communicate to another *computer* with a long strand connected
to that wall. I beheld the holy followers of Booji communicating
simultaneously through these wondrous devices, breaking all the laws of
nature by their doing so. I beheld the self proclaimed King of the
Computer, who sitteth upon his throne in a land called Seattle, and his
empire was named *Microsoft*. All the other Emperors of Computers
and Users of Computers were verily compelled to bow down before him.
No one could buy, sell, upload or download
without the mark and identification of this King of Microsoft, for verily
lightning would crash down your CPU if you failed to hail him. Woe
to thee in the final days if your name is *Mac* or if you like *Apples*.
Flee to the mountains of free enterprise! Swim in the rivers of fair
competition! Stare not at Windows 98 for you shall turn to a pillar
of salt! Take up thy holy mouse and fight the armies of Illegal Operation
Error! Take up thy modems and proclaim your righteousness in the
valley of the Internet!
Behold, I saw the portents of the final days.
The screen saver shall turn to black like sack cloth, and the wallpaper
shall turn to ashes. One-third of thy desk top icons shall be destroyed
and topple into thy recycle bin. Thy programs shall flood and be
burnt. Woe to those who are in cyber space during these last days.
I saw everything on the monitors being destroyed. The King of Microsoft
merged with the other Kings and were thrown into a great pit.
I blinked for a second.
Then I saw a new heaven and computer.
The powers that be reinstalled everything and 1,000 years of peaceful computing
You may go now to the six rooms
of the artifact exhibit:
into this undesignated room by accident!
Please be careful not to touch
anything. You break it, you pay for it.
Since these rooms are each
through separate doorways, please come back here to continue on to each